I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
