Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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