you would pick up someone in the library
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
