its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
