is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
