Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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