Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
