your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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