i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
