he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
