david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
