good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
