she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
