That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
