I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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