ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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