Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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