Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
