Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
