just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
