I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
