So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she woke up with a sticky ear
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
