Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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