Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
