they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
