Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
