question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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