No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
