i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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