So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
