carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
my poor anus
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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