you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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