WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize