Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
