it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
