I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
