What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
