I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
