How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
