I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
