There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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