Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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