I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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