Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
