you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
