I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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