It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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