YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
