His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
When are your genitals available?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
