youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
