who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
