If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
