hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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