I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
