We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
