We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Come see our sink grown plant.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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