THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
