all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
