2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
