I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
