i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
