Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
