yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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