just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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