You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
